To hire Bernie Friend for any sort of functions which pay hard cash, I.E. anything from stripping on a webcam wearing his pants on his head right through to after dinner speaking, e-mail berniebike@hotmail.co.uk
 
For trade and publishing enquiries, I.E. taking stock of books or again offering me stacks of money to make a BBC4 documentary about spending a weekend in a one man tent with the Krankies, or appearing alongside Judith Chalmers on Wish You Were Here...?, please contact Pen Press on 0845 1080530 or e-mail danny@penpress.co.uk or alexa@penpress.co.uk